I need to challenge myself and take more classes...not ballet. And from this guy -> because he intimidates me and i want to get over my fear.
It's been a crazy long week filled with ups and downs.
We have been cleaning and running the four rep. pieces we will be performing next week. I can't believe we are going to be on stage this time next week. I know we will pull it together but, we are also starting sleeping beauty rehearsals. I'm feeling very overwhelmed running two ballet pieces, choreographing six pieces for my various studios, and trying to maintain my stress level at a "don't lose your 'ish' state of mind. I think i have become very good at internalizing my stress and holding it in instead of just letting it out at appropriate times - aka: yell, cry, yell some more. Instead it creeps up on me in small rushes where my moods will change dramtically and i need time to just be alone and zone out for a bit till the calm returns. I feel that i share this stress management with others, particularly fellow dancers after a recent conversation with a company member who coped in a similar manner. Makes me feel not completely crazy to know i'm not alone.
On a non 'Debby downer' note : I am feeling strong overall. These ballets are offering me a challenge that i enjoy. I want to try and step out of my safe ballet box soon and take some more contemporary/jazz classes. My body and mind deserves a change.