Happy new year!!! Best wishes <3
~*sara*~

2009

i'm dreading the upcoming year....'audition season'. I don't know how many i will do this year factoring in time and money, but im already researching and seeing what's out there. It's not that it's going to be a bad year, i am looking forward to change But there is always that fear of something new. Who knows, maybe i'll end up staying where i am and i will make the best out of any situation that i am given. I have done it in the past and have tried to remain as positive as i possibly could be. The bottom line is to dance. If i am able to dance and be on stage i am home no matter where i am. Dancing is my life and always will be. It's too much a part of who i am to just give up. No matter who tries to hold me back or tell me i'm not 'good enough'i will push forward. Who set those standards anyway? I have the heart and the will.
ps- this was a self motivating speech to myself.
here's to 2009.
i'm going to kick some ass.
in pointe shoes.

love,
sara

short term goals:
- watch more ballet videos (inspire inspire)
- see romeo and juliet the ballet in nyc
- own a betsey johnson dress (sorry, vanity)
- inspire at least one person i teach to pursue dance as a career
- audition some place that scares me
- audition with confidence and strength

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to everyone!!!!

I feel happy and blessed to have my family and friends and plan on spending the whole day in my pjs playing with my presents. Now that nutcracker is over i can enjoy eating christmas cookies without wondering if i'll fit into my dew drop costume or if my chinese partner will drop me haha. But serioulsy - eat lots, relax all day, and give lots of hugs. Love to you all! (now where is my white christmas? oh that's right, it's on the sandy white beaches of miami fl awaiting for me in a few weeks ;) )

We had our last show in ewing nj today. I cant believe its over! All that hard work and now some rest!!!
~*sara*~

.oy.

First day of double shows, one at 10:30am (mostly kids in the audience) and one at 7:30. The first show was fun because the children in the audience responded to us as if we were hannah montana. Feels good to get applauses for even the little tricks. The second show went pretty well . (minus a tired partner) Got positive feedback overall. I just wish sometimes that my director was more responsive to my dew drop performance. It's fustrating when an artist feels like they aren't getting comments (good or bad). You almost need that to validate what you do. Sounds a little selfish actually as i write it, but it's true. Humans need that kind of interaction to prove exsistance....without sounding too dramatic haha. I am working off of about 5hrs of sleep right now while i type this so i apologize for typos/grammer but im not going to go back and "spell check". This is just all free flowing from a burnt out dancer who needs sometime off. I just need to know sometimes that i'm doing 'ok'. I want to be the best i can be always. That's a dancer perfectionist attitude. Yes it could be good... but it can ALWAYS be better. We are always pushing ourselves to our limits and a little beyond sometimes. You have to want it, or you'll never make it in this field. Gotta stay one step ahead.
I did enjoy the shows today from a different perspective. I took the time to watch backstage at EVERYthing that was going on - from the dancers to the stage crew. The way we all work together to make a production. It's truely magical when you take the time and just watch how everything flows in and out of each other in it's own sort of dance. Watching the stage crew drop the backdrop before snow was one of the coolest things that stand out in my mind. Three of them pulling the ropes together transforming the stage into another world for us to move in. Sounds a little silly and i guess it's something you have to see in the moment to really understand what it looked like, but i've been appreciating the little things that go into a production lately and just really taking it all in so i will remember it always. That way when i retire i can have wonderful memories to share with my children.
Well, i think it's time for me to catch some zzzz's. Two more shows to go at stockton then off to cape may on sunday. Did i mention it was a LONG weekend?

Good night.

So a 1030am performance today. So early for tutus. Its going to be a long wknd of shows i need lots of energy for this on!
~*sara*~

relax

i have two days off....woo hoo! and here's my song for that :

Sidenote: sudoku seems to be a good nerve calmer for me before shows.
~*sara*~

So we went from a hard hotel bed 2a hard stage. Show went ok last nite. Hard 2breath from higher elevations. Show at 2pm!
~*sara*~

10min to show! In sparta new jersey where all i saw was a mountain and a goat.merde and cross fingers for an audience!
~*sara*~

Shows again this wknd in sussex nj so long drive ahead! Im at a point right now where i want to do something big, be heard
~*sara*~